Normal Life

I don't often write about some of the issues with which I have to contend over the past 3 years.

When Sandra and I separated, and I agreed that she could move away I implicitly agreed to a few things. My time with my children would be less, but as I was an important factor in their lives Sandra and I negotiated an agreement which coordinated that time.

Once moved, things began to change. No longer was Sandra interested in the agreement and as time progressed she started to become more and more difficult. When my first summer schedule came about Sandra refused to allow me to see the kids. I had to go before a judge in order to obtain my summer access.
I realized at this point that I needed to gain closure to our affairs and a stronger agreement that the private one which we had. It took 14 months and a lot of money, but we finally came to an agreement.

The agreement is stronger and includes some guarantees. Unfortunately, Sandra does not like it. The main issue is that she cannot control what I do. She feels that she should have the right to control when the kids can see me and when they cannot. She does not have this power.
At this time she is threatening to go back to court and one of the primary things she will attempt to do is have this component cancelled. If she is successful, then I will no longer see the kids on a regular basis.

Unfortunately, she is also playing games with their access to other people. Of most note is her own mother. She halted all contact between her mother and the children forcing her mother to initiate court action. She won her initial appearances but somehow Sandra managed to convince a judge that the disagreements between herself and her mother were harming the children. The judge ordered them into court counselling. After two sessions, her mother was able to get some access to the children, on a regular schedule. Unfortunately, it was not written - it was a private agreement.

Now, Sandra has decided to cancel this agreement as well - Sandra has difficulties with agreements. Not sure what her mom will do now...but it is very frustrating that after 3 years Sandra just simply cannot get on with her life.